"Reader, I rolled my eyes. I know that’s not the kind or constructive thing to do when someone is brave enough to come out, but I’m afraid I couldn’t help it..."
"... my old gay eyes rolled involuntarily....When I came out, 20 years ago, I wasn’t worried that people might think I was declaring myself queer because it was cool – it was decidedly not cool... Last time I checked, demisexuals weren’t exactly an oppressed minority fighting for equal rights. They are just people who aren’t sexually attracted to others unless they form a strong emotional bond with them first. (Congratulations, some of you may suddenly have realised that you are not actually the boring hetero you thought you were – you are an exciting demisexual! You even get your very own flag!) Acting as if needing to get to know someone before jumping into bed with them constitutes a marginalised sexual orientation that needs a flag seems to play into the hands of rightwingers who are desperate to argue that liberals are narcissists with a victimhood complex."
From "What does the dawn of demisexuals tell us?/How sex-drenched society has become" by Arwa Mahdawi (The Guardian). Mahdawi is reacting to Michaela Kennedy-Cuomo's announcing that she's "demisexual."
We talked about demisexuals on the blog last May, here.
And here's the demisexual flag:
Now, I didn't listen to Kennedy-Cuomo's announcement, so I don't know how she framed it. Did she seem to want to be viewed as oppressed? Did she indicate that she thought demisexuals had experiences like those of gay people or that put them in a position to appreciate the special interests of gay people?
What I like about out-and-proud demisexuals is that they desire a traditional relationship not because they want to adhere to tradition but because it's exactly what appeals to them sexually. It's so easy in our culture for a young person to assume that it's good to acquire a heaping portion of sexual experience. Demisexuals present a counter-argument: Maybe you're one of those people who don't desire sex unless it's part of a relationship.
And, obviously, undesired sex isn't anything you want, even if you think you want a large portion of sexual experience and you don't care about sticking to tradition.
ADDED: Here are 15 signs that you may be demisexual. I'd say those are 15 signs that you may be a woman!
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