"Grief reigns in the kingdom of loss. I refer to not only the loss of a loved one but also the loss of a hope, a dream, or love itself."
"It seems we don’t finish grieving, but merely finish for now; we process it in layers. One day (not today) I’m going to write a short story about a vending machine that serves up Just the Right Amount of Grief. You know, the perfect amount that you can handle in a moment to move yourself along, but not so much that you’ll be caught in an undertow."
That's item #13 on "MONICA LEWINSKY: 25 'RANDOMS' ON THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE BILL CLINTON CALAMITY/My name became public 25 years ago this week. What have I observed and learned in the quarter century since? Oh, plenty" (Vanity Fair).
Okay, let me try to write 25 "Randoms" on the text printed above:
1. I'm into randomness, so I can do a list of items, I mean randoms.2. I hadn't noticed "random" as a noun, though I've often seen the noun "rando" — only in reference to a person. But the OED shows "random" as a noun meaning "rando." It originated in "U.S. Computing" — and is defined as "A person who happens to be in a particular place at a particular time, a person who is there by chance; spec.(depreciative) a person who is not a member of a particular group; an outsider." That goes back to 1971.
3. What about "random" as a noun meaning random things, such as opinions or ideas? I'm seeing the meaning "A haphazard or aimless course. Also: that which is random; random state or condition, randomness." A quote from 1813: "As if the ant and bee..had..proceeded in chaotic randoms upon points actually unascertained in nature." And in 1969, Paul McCartney said "There's a lot of random in our songs."
4. I take the Lewinsky use of the "randoms" to mean "random thoughts." It's a declaration of freedom to put things in list form not because it's a list of anything in particular or even in any kind of order — e.g., order of importance — but just mostly to avoid needing to construct paragraphs and write transitions.
5. Yeah, so this is #5. And 5 times 5 is 25, the number of years since something we're now calling "The Bill Clinton Calamity." A "calamity" is, according to the OED, "A grievous disaster, an event or circumstance causing loss or misery; a distressing misfortune."
6. 25 years is a long time. Put 4 of them together and you're 100, and that's if you're lucky. I'm 3 years away from being down to my last 1 (of the 4).
7. Having randomly referenced death, I want to talk about the notion that "Grief reigns in the kingdom of loss." The most random thing I've got to say about that is that if you're going to capitalize "Right Amount of Grief," then you really ought to capitalize "The Kingdom of Loss."
8. We can see, I think, that Monica Lewinsky loved — and probably still loves — Bill Clinton. Why else is there grief? She says "I refer to not only the loss of a loved one but also the loss of a hope, a dream, or love itself." Love! She loved him. She still feels exalted by love. The current form the love takes is: Grief!
9. She is still grieving. Love never dies, and "we don’t finish grieving."
10. We process grief. In layers. Like an onion. Processed. Like cheese. Perhaps individual wrapped Kraft Singles. In a vending machine.
11. Portion control: "Just the Right Amount of Grief."
12. A person's got to eat/grieve, but if you eat too much/grieve too much, you might get "caught in an undertow." Kind of a mixed metaphor, but I believe I've seen ads that depict a food product — chocolate? — coming at you like a wave. Taste the wave!
13. Are you threatening to write a short story — one day (not today)? About what?
14. Can you imagine a short story about a vending machine? Have you ever encountered the idea of a vending machine that dispenses something that has no tangible form?
15. I remember "The Vending Machine That Spits Out Short Stories" — a NYT article about a vending machine that dispensed stories, but obviously these were not short stories about the vending machine — not, as one might say jocosely, autobiographical stories.
16. "The first dispenser in the United States was at [Francis Ford] Coppola’s San Francisco cafe in 2016. At the time, the director said the stories had the allure of classic manuscripts. 'I’d like to see the city of San Francisco put them everywhere so that while waiting for a bus, or marriage license, or lunch, you could get an artistic lift, free of charge,' he said."
17. What if the city of San Francisco put "Just the Right Amount of Grief" vending machines everywhere?
18. Wouldn't that be great? You know, sometimes it takes lateral thinking to solve complicated problems.
19. You're "waiting for a bus" and you can get "get a lift," but it's not the lift you want: A bus ride. Or somebody comes along in a car and says "Hop in, I'll give you a lift."
20. No, it's "an artistic lift."
21. But it's free of charge.
22. And somehow it's from Francis Ford Coppola.
23. Why doesn't he drive up in his car when you need a lift?
24. What kind of car does Francis Ford Coppola drive?
25. An Oscar.
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